THEN and NOW: Chapter 18, Rose Goes Homebound

I had always thought that overprotective mothers had issues. That assumption bit me back. I should have known better. But it is so much easier to judge than to understand.

I did not want to take Rose’s reins back. I had restarted my own life. The fear had abated. We were happy. We were all busy. We were ‘bad busy.’

I had not coined the term yet, but you know what that means. Skiing vs. swimming. Flying vs. walking. It means that we were moving so fast that we were missing things.

Status epilepticus is not something that can be missed. Rose’s seizures rarely stopped on their own when she was young. Her brain fired away until it was stopped by emergency medications.

When I was weighing the choice of school or homebound, I kept coming back to a seizure we missed…

“Treat yourself well, darling. We all have days when we feel less than we are.” S. C. Lourie

If you’re having “one of those days” kick off your shoes and be nice to yourself. Don’t believe all the negative thoughts. Don’t take that stuff personally.

Today is a day to be kind to yourself.

To show yourself self-compassion.

This is a personal view as a family member of someone with cancer. Please be aware that some of the content may be triggering. Please take care 💚

It’s been a while since I wrote about cancer. It’s not that it’s not been at the forefront of my mind. I think when it’s part of your family it does stay there pushing its way to your thoughts. But I just haven’t had anything of any real worth to say. Or anything to share. Lately though my thoughts are busy.

We currently are waiting in results from my mum’s latest CT scan. We have appointments booked with the two hospitals involved in her care in the next couple of weeks. This will be to discuss the next steps. We know it won’t go away. We know the prognosis isn’t good. But we will find out how bad it is at the…