NEVER-ENDING-VERSE Come quiet. Come vigilant. Come true. Come alone, intuit what you should do. Do not make an effort. Do not stir a thought. Truth breathes wisdom, in Divinity of all. Open heart. unconscious mind. Listen to the mystical cues you find. Time is lost and not, as it has been. When co creating, with our *Awen*. Milking insights, of primal surrender. whisperings of Cambrian ancestors. It’s quite unbelievable and absurd. How many ignore their ‘writing’ words. There be a thread of quivering sound, slipping of knots, into stitches around. Scribbling sentiments like wild hunters, or lightening strikes, when it thunders. It’s a taste of brilliance, sewn in colours. Rainbows imposed on top of the other. Focus in contemplation. All you will; when Awen holds your magical quill. Weavers of Cymru indigenous tales. Blessed be, our Awenyddion of Wales. Victoria…

On November 23, 2009 I sent my first blog posting over the amateur radio airwaves, now 11 years 966 postings, with 915 followers and over 106,000 hits later I think I have reached the end of the road.

Yes I know I have been long absent from my blog of late but I have a good reason…..depression and I can trace the trigger’s for this dark state to two things, my physical health and watching my country become a third world nation.

These are not idle or over the top assumptions… when you add up my weight gain because I quit smoking, cataracts, a weak heart a dead gallbladder, and COPD we have the foundation for one very dark cloud, but wait there’s more….

We once had a populace that was proud to be called American, maybe because those who lived here thought it was worth the effort and sacrifice…

“Cheating isn’t an accident. Falling off your bike is an accident. Cheating is a choice.”

Many cheating partners have argued the case that it was only some porn, or a lap dance, or webcams. It wasn’t a relationship and, therefore, didn’t count.

But that’s not what their partner, or their spouse, is going to think.

To them it’s a deliberate and blatant breach of trust. It’s engaging in behaviour that they know will break your heart. It’s cheating. Infidelity. Unfaithfulness.

And intimate relationships are based on openness. On not having secrets. On honesty and trust.

So when you choose to deceive her, or you lie to her face, then it totally destroys that strong foundation of trust.  And once it has been broken it is hard to rebuild.

For if I can’t be confident that you care about my heart, and I don’t know if you’ll hurt me, and I…

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

You don’t ever forget that your partner was unfaithful. You don’t ever forget that you lost a precious child. You don’t ever forget the day your whole world fell apart. You don’t ever forget that you’re a victim of abuse.

We may heal to some extent, and build a very different future.

Our partner may change, or we might marry someone else.

We might still have other children.

And our fortunes might reverse.

We might laugh, and find fulfillment, and decide ‘life must go on’.

Even so, we still remember – for we can’t erase those memories.

There will always be an ache for what could, and should, have been.

It…