“Everyone says forgiveness is a good idea until they have something to forgive.” – C.S. Lewis

Forgiveness is a difficult, and somewhat touchy, topic. It’s something we are told that we ought to offer others. But ask anyone, and you’re likely to hear that forgiveness is a struggle if you’ve been hurt and betrayed. And perhaps its not surprising that this should be the case.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the matter.

1. Feeling that it’s hard to forgive and start again (even if, in your mind, you really want to forgive) is a primal, instinctive, self-protective response. The reason’s not surprising: if we let the barriers down and open up our heart, then our trust could be betrayed. So our brain seeks to protect us from further injury.

2. We fear that forgiveness – or too quick, or forced, forgiveness – could have the effect of…