Growing up, Mother’s depression was a suffocating and

crippling darkness that shrouded over me like a dark cloud.

She reflected on her experiences with depression by describing them

like storms that took her over like demonic possession.

I remember when Mother described how terrifying it was for her

when she crossed into the realm of psychosis,

and lost perspective on how to differentiate between reality testing of madness and lucidity.

This was a woman who would voluntarily check herself into

a psychiatric hospitalization and then break herself out.

But I can appreciate being stupid like a fox or a con artist conning himself.

Been there, done that.

Looking back, seeing Mother’s Higher Self being dominated by her lower self

was enough to drive me nuts.

As much as it was hard for her to breathe,

it was hard for those of us around her to breathe…

Hazan & Shaver[1] have identified four intimate adult attachment styles. It can be helpful to relate this to ourselves and our partner when there’s been betrayal or a breach of trust.

The four attachment styles are: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant.

They can be described as follows:

1. Securely attached: These adult partners will generally be trusting, trustworthy, available to their partner, and have a balanced healthy self-esteem. Generally, they do not fear abandonment, don’t expect to be rejected, or fear they might lose love. Thus, they accept, and are comfortable with, themselves, and they let their partner be themselves as well. They view themselves and their partner in a realistic way, and are optimistic about the life they share. Finally, they are able to balance their need for independence with a healthy need for intimacy.

2. Anxious-preoccupied: These partners worry that their partners will abandon or…