I have waited a while to write this post. I would say the reason is that I wanted the dust to settle, but if I’m honest I just wanted to be drinking when I wrote it. Call it Dutch courage if you like. I’m going to just pop a little trigger warning here for death of a loved one before I go on.

I’ve thought endlessly about you since you left us two weeks ago.

I have experienced loss before. I don’t think you can be nearing forty and not experienced it. I’ve watched people leave this world or about to leave it. As devastating as these losses were, the one thing I could always rely on were the words ‘They had a good innings’ (for none British people this is a cricket reference to mean a batsman was around for a while)

So what do you do when the…

I had one vaccine.

I had one vaccine.

I had many neurological problems

The Bell’s Palsy is now with me about a year!

Today is this .

Now?

In bed.

Eye taped to help it droop less at bight.

Tearing is making that tape challenged!

Ventilator makes an imperfect seal painful and yep corneal abrasions galore.

Corneal abrasions feel like blinking on shards of glass. They also hurt in daylight. so i am in my sunglasses indoors all the time as required.

So so tired.

Pains.

JustOne vax.

LOTSs of other organ problems.

All reported as adverse drug reactions but who monitors them all?

Me!

Aspiration. Drooling. Pain. So much more than the look.

Am i a conspiracy theorist???