Validation, Power, Addiction…Oh My!

The Alien Blogs

I was on Bumble. I swiped left on a guy with a beard, presenting a fish to the camera. Then I saw that smile. Smirk, rather. It was him. The guy who took advantage of me with our mutual friend. I froze. Cold clammy palms. My heart actually skipped a beat. I thought he was in a relationship. Maybe he just never took his profile down because that’s the type of guy he is. And I, robotically, watched as my finger swiped right.

It wasn’t a match, thankfully. I forgave myself for the out of body reaction. Chalked it up to flight or fight. Anxiety can make you simply react. I always wanted him to like me. I guessed that subconsciously I hoped it would be a match so I would feel validated. I know I don’t need anyone to make me feel validated, but there’s still a wound, ever…

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