Things that set you back when you’ve been betrayed include:

1. Keeping your feelings to yourself. The impact of a trauma is so deep and so profound, and the feelings it evokes are so extreme and so intense, that they need to have an outlet, or you’ll go insane! They need to be expressed when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

2. Keeping what happened to yourself: There are some things in this life we want to keep to ourselves. And we also have the right to keep those things to ourselves. We don’t need other people to attack or put us down, and we don’t need their opinions, or their unwelcome advice.

Nevertheless, you need to find a person you can tell your story to; someone who’s understanding, and who truly cares for you.    

3. Not being able to find out the whole truth: You have a right to know…

“It is required of every man’ the ghost returned, 
‘That the spirit within him, should walk abroad among his fellow man and travel far and wide and if the spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death’ 
~ Charles DickensTHE GHOST WHISPERER  With magical quill, he spelled dreams, in a dark world, as bleak as it seemed. In black and sodden, cobbled streets, raggedy children, shuffled on bare feet. The smells of neglect and overcrowding, shadows flicker, loomed, overpowering. Polluted with poverty, grunge and grime, the hungry gaze of dull, feverish eyes. Gusts of wind, rattled on broken panes, swiping smoke off braziers, fiery flames. In the smut of Victoria's, industrial era, many, lived in poverty, scarcity and fear. The derelict, invisible, trapped bones, in desolation, the homeless all…

“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” – Kristin Neff

We hear a lot today about self-compassion. But how do we show compassion to ourselves? What does this look like in our everyday lives?

1. First, acknowledge to yourself that you’re having a hard time. This is the starting place of self-compassion. You don’t have to pretend, and to push your feelings down. This is the time to be on your own side, and to listen to your heart, with empathy and understanding. ‘It feel what you feel’ … and that’s absolutely fine!

2. Don’t beat yourself up for struggling. It’s Ok to struggle and to find it hard to cope. What you’re feeling is normal. You are human – that is all. Understand that you…

Then and Now for Chapter 20: Drug Changes Change Rose

This period of time will always come back vividly due to the fear I felt every minute of every day. “Things fell apart. Months were a blur.” this chapter says. We were panicked by Rose’s decline. All we had were strong seizures and horrible side effects. I did not want to take my eyes off of her, but I was cracking up inside. Something had to give.

I have had to ask myself some hard questions about this stretch of Rose’s epilepsy. Why did we go along for so long? I am trying to be honest and careful here because I know some of you may be going through similar experiences.

When do you bail water or bail out? I think we bailed water too long here. Why? Ignorance and insecurity. We did not know what to do to help…