“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

You don’t ever forget that your partner was unfaithful. You don’t ever forget that you lost a precious child. You don’t ever forget the day your whole world fell apart. You don’t ever forget that you’re a victim of abuse.

We may heal to some extent, and build a very different future.

Our partner may change, or we might marry someone else.

We might still have other children.

And our fortunes might reverse.

We might laugh, and find fulfillment, and decide ‘life must go on’.

Even so, we still remember – for we can’t erase those memories.

There will always be an ache for what could, and should, have been.

It…

My pity party was short and sour.

I must suck it up and put on my big girl pants.

Rose is coming home tomorrow.

I must hide the elephant(fear) from her and be brave.

She is such a champ. I cannot let her see her mama being a wimp.

We have been here many times before.

I know my role quite well. Fake it ’til you make it.

Wish me luck.

Mama

Last time i wrote a post i was sitting in my hotel room thinking about the new season and the seizure i had in pre season. i decided to share that all and explain how i recovered. 24 hours after writing that post i was involved in a freak accident 30 minutes into the game and was forced off with a very painful injury. A player fell on my knee and hyper extended which forced me to leave the game early. A few days later after MRI Scan i find out it’s a grade 3 tear to my MCL. This is a major setback once again for me but mentally with having seizures i’m used to setbacks. 8 weeks on and being in a brace i feel having epilepsy has allowed me to mentally deal with a major injury like this, and put me in good stead for my return…

I’m afraid I’ll provide spoilers if I go into much detail, so I’m just going to say, watch this Netflix series. It’s seven episodes of pure moody, beautiful suspense.

Dark? Yes.

Gory? In places.

Philosophical? Absolutely.

I’ve almost said too much. I’m going to shut up now.

Peace, people!

“It is what it is, and you feel what you feel.”

The starting place for healing from a trauma in your life is taking that courageous, and very shaky, step of facing the truth of what happened to you.

That means allowing all the feelings to rise up to the surface, and experiencing the pain all over again.

But what do you do after taking that brave step – because you know, for a fact, that it’s going to feel awful?

In summary:

1. Give yourself time – take all the time you need – to deal with what comes up, and to mourn a million losses.

2. Allow the healing process to follow its own course. You can’t force the pace, or decide what it will look like.

3. Be patient with yourself, and especially during dark days. You don’t know how you will feel; you don’t…