“Cheating isn’t an accident. Falling off your bike is an accident. Cheating is a choice.”

Many cheating partners have argued the case that it was only some porn, or a lap dance, or webcams. It wasn’t a relationship and, therefore, didn’t count.

But that’s not what their partner, or their spouse, is going to think.

To them it’s a deliberate and blatant breach of trust. It’s engaging in behaviour that they know will break your heart. It’s cheating. Infidelity. Unfaithfulness.

And intimate relationships are based on openness. On not having secrets. On honesty and trust.

So when you choose to deceive her, or you lie to her face, then it totally destroys that strong foundation of trust.  And once it has been broken it is hard to rebuild.

For if I can’t be confident that you care about my heart, and I don’t know if you’ll hurt me, and I…

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

You don’t ever forget that your partner was unfaithful. You don’t ever forget that you lost a precious child. You don’t ever forget the day your whole world fell apart. You don’t ever forget that you’re a victim of abuse.

We may heal to some extent, and build a very different future.

Our partner may change, or we might marry someone else.

We might still have other children.

And our fortunes might reverse.

We might laugh, and find fulfillment, and decide ‘life must go on’.

Even so, we still remember – for we can’t erase those memories.

There will always be an ache for what could, and should, have been.

It…

My pity party was short and sour.

I must suck it up and put on my big girl pants.

Rose is coming home tomorrow.

I must hide the elephant(fear) from her and be brave.

She is such a champ. I cannot let her see her mama being a wimp.

We have been here many times before.

I know my role quite well. Fake it ’til you make it.

Wish me luck.

Mama