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'A thought is an idea in transit’ ~ Pythagoras He blurted out, ‘I imagined that you were dead’ she gave ‘that’ look and shook her head. Her blurred figure of purple haze, transcended from the void of cave. A ray of violet and amethyst glow, aeons of time to remember, You know. There is a sound only some can see, a vibration of peace and purpality. It is in the ambiance of her colour, chords of illumination to each other. Listening ear and eye to inner sound, as spiritual octaves, waved around. It’s a sense of calm, joy and harmony, a lilac, ‘forget me knot’ of creativity. She, the mystical, powerful part of self, dispelling all illusions and fears of hell. Listen to her sounds in the distance; her calling is yearning and persistent. Wha, wait, wait…

1. Suffering is universal. It is something we can’t avoid, or completely hide from. It is a fact of life that all of us are going to have to deal with a certain amount of disappointment, failure, loss and grief.

2. We do not suffer equally. There are people who seem to be dealt a much worse hand than others. These are the people who experience one major trauma after another major trauma … or who witness terrible atrocities … or who are hit by serious illnesses – which have a devastating impact, and a terrible prognosis.

3. When we suffer so intensely, we need a place of refuge. Suffering on this level cannot be borne alone.

4. Because suffering is universal, we might expect that other people would be there for us. We might expect them to be kind, understanding, and to respond with sensitivity and empathy.

But all…

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry or fear which, when persistent and impacting on daily life may be a sign of an anxiety disorder. Generalised Anxiety Disorder, which is one common type of anxiety disorder, is estimated to impact 5.9% of adults in England¹.

Symptoms

Symptoms of anxiety include changes in thoughts and behaviour such as²:

• Restlessnes
• A feeling of dread
• A feeling of being “on-edge”
• Difficulty concentrating
• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability

It can also involve physical feelings such as dizziness, nausea, heart palpitations (a noticeably strong, fast heartbeat), sweating, shortness of breath, headache, or dry mouth.

Occasionally feeling anxious, particularly about events or situations that are challenging or threatening, is a normal and extremely common response. However, if feelings of anxiety regularly cause significant distress or they start to impact on your ability to carry out your daily life…

THEN and NOW: Chapter 18, Rose Goes Homebound

I had always thought that overprotective mothers had issues. That assumption bit me back. I should have known better. But it is so much easier to judge than to understand.

I did not want to take Rose’s reins back. I had restarted my own life. The fear had abated. We were happy. We were all busy. We were ‘bad busy.’

I had not coined the term yet, but you know what that means. Skiing vs. swimming. Flying vs. walking. It means that we were moving so fast that we were missing things.

Status epilepticus is not something that can be missed. Rose’s seizures rarely stopped on their own when she was young. Her brain fired away until it was stopped by emergency medications.

When I was weighing the choice of school or homebound, I kept coming back to a seizure we missed…